Luckily, you aren’t alone. Everybody’s marriage is insane—yes, including mine. From the outside, they’re nearly impossible to understand. From the inside? Well, it ain’t much easier. Some days you can feel an almost religious degree of closeness to your partner, while during others you feel like you’re seconds away from committing a felony. There’s a reason why the old cliché of “marriage is work” endures.
Statistically, somewhere between 40 to 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce. Is it because one or both parties aren’t putting in the work? Maybe, but not always. The reasons for divorce are as vast and mysterious as the reasons for getting together in the first place. Relationships ebb and flow like the tides. Sometimes you’re brought to rest upon a sandy beach. Other times, you’re battered against the rocks.
Noah Baumbach knows a little something about that. He’s the child of two successful writers, and his adulthood was informed by the conflict between a comfortable upbringing in Brooklyn and the divorce of his parents. Like many of us, he went through his own divorce, the white elephant gift of marriage, and he watched friends and family experience the same situation. It’s no wonder he’s so well-suited to make the searing drama Marriage Story.
While they live in what appears to be financially comfortable circumstances in New York City, their life isn’t easy. Charlie is an acclaimed avant-garde theater director. He’s worked his way up from nothing and is now on the brink of taking his show to Broadway. Nicole started in less-than-ideal circumstances as a teenage film actor. Now people are taking her seriously as a performer, and the pilot for a TV series beckons to her in Los Angeles.
All of that would be complex enough without factoring in the challenges of parenthood. Their young son Henry (Azhy Robertson) is a delight, but successful parenting requires communication and compromise. Nicole and Charlie mean well, they just feel that their marriage has come to a crossroads. Their divorce begins with the promise of amicability. They swear they won’t get lawyers involved—until they do.
Nicole “temporarily” moves back home to West Hollywood and her daffy mother Sandra (Julie Hagerty). She’s also taken Henry with her and secured the services of skilled attorney Nora (Laura Dern). During a visit to Los Angeles, Charlie is served with divorce papers. He feels blindsided and meets with legal shark Jay Marotta (Ray Liotta). From there, Nicole and Charlie see each other and themselves becoming the kinds of people they never expected, in both positive and negative ways.
Baumbach’s screenplay tells a very specific story of divorce, one where there are no sole villains or one-sided blame, only people engulfed in a confusing and wrenching process. True, it doesn’t exactly help things that Charlie had an affair with his stage manager. It’s also unhelpful that Nicole essentially decides on her own to move across the country and take Henry with her. We see them at their best and worst moments, and while we might not agree with the choices they make, we always understand why they make those choices. That’s good screenwriting.
A meaty script attracts good actors like sharks to chum. Everyone in the supporting cast has their moment to shine. I particularly liked Alan Alda as Bert Spitz, Charlie’s second lawyer who counsels him to behave with forbearance. Laura Dern continues to prove she’s one of the most skilled actors working today, and I loved the monologue she delivers about the entrenched sexism women frequently face in divorce proceedings.
I’ve been through divorce. I’ve seen people I love go through divorce. The only commonality in those situations is that you don’t want anyone to be in pain. You want them to move on with their lives and live well. Marriage Story is certainly not what I would describe as a fun time at the movies, and I can’t imagine watching it again. Yet it’s a film made with such skill and compassion that I think everyone ought to see it once.